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What's In A Name?

This report is written by decorated British ex SAS soldier and zombie hunter: Captain 'Hawk' Heath.

Somebody once said to me, "Does it get easier after a while, killing Zombies?" They explained that they had made their first kill that day. They said it was "like doing drugs". I asked them what they meant by that. "You feel high at first, but when the rush wears off, it's a horribly depressed and lonely feeling.

It made me think of this story, I hope you don't mind me sharing it with you today.

Stoke-On-Trent, England. This was the first time I had teamed up with 'Big Al'. He was called that because at 6'5" and a shaved head, just seemed to suit him. An American bloke. He went on to become my right hand man.

Anyway, we got a call at 2:20am on a cold, miserable February morning, to come right away to a supermarket. Mega-store. The manager told us he had an possible outbreak of un-dead. Albeit a small one. We scanned his CCTV cameras. Covering every inch of the interior of the store. We figured to the best of our knowledge it was a just two Necro's. One male (an Aisle worker) approximate age 30. and One female (a Cashier) approx. age 20. So we entered through the back of the store. Near the rear loading bays. We requested that they hit all the lights before we went in. It didn't take us long to find Zombie one (The Aisle worker). It was effortlessly located courtesy of the supermarket security guard, who's, seeing it on the CCTV, then conveyed to me via my ear piece.

I sent Big Al round the other end of Aisle 17 (This is where necro-1 was). We didn't want it getting away. Nor did we want to have necro-2 (Cashier girl) suddenly stirring and flanking us. We were in stealth mode because we didn't want our presence announced. So I made the decision to not use fire arms. Aisle worker had it's back to me. So holding my machete high, I gave him the chop. I went for just below the skull, at the base of the neck. It's an easy kill. No need to use all that force trying to lob it's head off. (it's harder than you think). Cut the spinal chord at the neck and trust me mate, It's going nowhere. In fact it was clean up on Aisle 17.

Then it came to necro-2. The former cashier. It was still at the register area. In fact, it was actually sitting at a checkout booth. Just staring at the floor. We circled around closer, and using hand signals managed to completely position ourselves where we needed to be. We could have gone for a quick head shot at this point. No other Zombies to worry about attracting the attention of. But just as I raised my barrel, Big Al waived his hand. Signaling for me to hold fire. I did so and stared with a 'WTF'? look in his direction. He was looking around. I spooked. I figured he must have sensed something else. But no. He just picked a can of soup from a nearby aisle and gently rolled it down the (non working) conveyor belt, towards 'Annette'.

Yes, 'Annette,' it was there, right on her name tag. Suddenly, 'It' became a 'She'. 'It' became 'Annette'. And Annette starred vacuously at the can of soup before her. I turned to Al and shrugged my shoulders, raised my rifle again. But just then, Al gestured for me to be patient.

And there it was, right before our eyes.

Annette picked up the can and tried to run it over the scanner. She tried again and again and again. Just like in her past world. I don't know what made Al think that would work. Maybe he just saw some last remnant of humanity in her cold eyes. But whatever it was, it hurt me. It hurt me so bad. She was not just killed once, but she had to now be killed again, this time by my hands.

So back to the original question. "Does it get easier after a while, to kill the Zombies?" . My answer is yes, but only if you don't know their name

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This site is for entertainment purposes only. All stories and events are fictional. Any similarities with persons either living or deceased in purely coincidental.
There is occasional satirizing of prominent public figures. All contents of this site are copyrighted © 2014. All rights reserved.
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