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Panic In Pakistan
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France Pulls Out Of Afghanistan
- Raising Fears of Imminent Zombie Ground Infestation

Posted: December, 2006

France has announced that it is pulling all of it's 1,500 troops out of Afghanistan effective immediately. Defense Minister Michele Alliot-Marie, who was in Kabul yesterday, said French fighter jets based in Tajikistan would continue to provide limited air support to Coalition troops.

President Jacques Chirac insists that at this time, all military resources must be redeployed at home in a "refocusing of priorities."

Defense Minister Michele Alliot-Marie
said France will continue to provide
limited air support
Local tribes flee to the mountains
Amid fears that the Undead rising is spreading throughout the heartland of Afghanistan, many villagers are moving to the harsh climate of the mountainous regions. They are seeking the protection of local Afghan War Lords.

Afghan War Lords offer protection, at a price.

"They flee to the mountains with the rational that Zombies cannot survive the freezing temperatures there. They hope any pursuing Zombies will simply perish in the mountains." said a Red Cross spokesperson today.

"While we understand their plight, we are increasingly concerned that the country will spiral into Feudalism." The spokesperson went on to say.

Coalition in disarray
There has been intense pressure on all Coalition leaders to withdraw from Afghanistan, in order to concentrate on shoring up local borders. Many political observers speculate that the Coalition will collapse due to fragmentation within


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