Two British professional zombie hunters, both members of the notorious UK organization known as 'The Firm', were arrested today on charges of attempting to smuggle undead 'trophies' out of the country.
Nigel Thwaites (23) and Glynn Thomas (27) were stopped at the Ataturk International Airport in Istanbul yesterday. Turkish authorities claim to have found 'several undead body parts in checked luggage of both men.
Body parts seized
Mortosis positive blood can command a high fee for usage in the making of ''M-Bomb' narcotics. 'M-Bomb' is the highly dangerous, illegal splicing of the Necro-Mortosis virus with amphetamine, to produce a unique and extremely dangerous high. The teeth are often sold on the black market as smaller trophies and sometimes ritualistic practices.
The transportation of known Necro-Mortosis contaminants is an international offence, additionally, the sale of undead body parts is strictly prohibited in most countries as laid out by the UN's 'Code of conduct.' Turkey is particularly harsh on such infringements.
If convicted, they could face up to 35 years in jail. The British consulate in Turkey has requested a visit with both men and is pressing for them to be tried in a British court of law.
However, it is thought that on this occasion, Thwaites and Thomas were acting alone. This in itself could make their situation even more precarious. If they had been acting on behalf of The Firm, then they would at least have been able to expect the full backing of its considerable legal weight. As it stands though, if they did act alone then they still have the negative association with the notorious Firm but non of their legal clout.
The Firm's 'CEO' known only as 'Mr. Grinder' is well known for his disapproval of any actions outside of the tightly controlled corporation. And so, even if in the unlikely event that the two men were to be released, they still would face the wrath of their own employer.
Howard Day, author of many popular zombie hunter biographies offered this advise: "Trust me, you don't want to get fired by The Firm. It brings a whole new meaning to 'terminating an employee'. They wont let you do outside work. They call it 'doing a foreigner'. These men would be better off in the Turkish jail. Even if they did manage to get a transfer to a British jail, that would probably be worse for them. Because then Mr. Grinder could use his own influence within the prison system to get them 'fired'."
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