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If you suspect anyone of showing sympoms of the 'Necro- Mortosis' Virus, the Government has released the following anonymous tip line.
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Hoax Sparks Panic in City Centre
students from the local Robert Gordon University donned ragged
“Unfortunately, with tensions already running high within the city, many people presumed this to be a bona fide breakout, and reacted accordingly” reports Grampian Police Spokesperson Anji Jayaraman. A mass stampede occurred along the entire length of Union Street, resulting in people and cars being trampled, and thousands of pounds worth of damage being caused”
Several Police cars and Armed Response Units were called out over the course of the night, as most of the City Centre was shut off to traffic as Police tried to contain the panic.
“It was pure chaos” says local nightclub doorman Donald McKinnoch. “We’re right beside the church, so when they all came spilling out, it was just madness. A group of girls at the smoking section started screaming and running away, and before you knew it all the punters were flying about, trying to get away. A few of our lads went after the stupid boys who’d started it, and the ones they caught got a fair kicking”
Aberdeen has been a media flashpoint in recent weeks. With the Aberdeen North by-election taking place recently, many commentators are suggesting this with be a real test of PM Gordon Brown’s leadership, following very few confirmed undead attacks within UK boundaries, most recentlythe death of a diver off the coast of Cornwall some months ago. Support has surged behind charismatic local businessman John Dolan, who is standing for the newly formed British Border Security Party (BBSP), which is calling for a clamp down on immigration to the UK in order to combat the threat of outbreak.
“The people need someone who says what they’re thinking” he said in a response to this newest development. “The Labour Government has shown time and time again that it is unable to deal with this worldwide crisis, in a way that protects the British people”
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