Anti Necro-Mortosis Funding Cut In Major US Cities
Washington, USA
Posted: 3/29/08 Bookmark and Share

The Department of Homeland Security yesterday slashed anti-necro-mortosis money for Washington, Miami, New Jersey and New York. The measure is part of a controversial decision to reduce grant funds for major urban areas in the US while providing more funding to mid-size cities.

The announcement that the two cities targeted on Sept. 11, 2001, along with New Jersey and Miami, the source of the USA's largest full scale undead outbreaks would suffer 40 percent reductions in urban security funding prompted outrage from lawmakers and local officials in both areas.

Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff defended the move today. A statement released from his office said "The threat of a significant outbreak on US soil is serious and very real. However, unlike a coordinated and planned terrorist attack, a mortosis outbreak could strike any city or town large or small. We have to spread our resources throughout the whole of the US to deal swiftly with any incidents that arise. We have to understand that there is risk throughout the nation. This process is fair and entirely none partisan"

This statement was quickly criticized by politicians and bloggers alike. Most seemed to think that Chertof was ignoring or unrecognizing the possibility of a terrorist attack using the undead virus similar to what was seen in Tel Aviv, Israel last year.

Homeland Security's grant programs have drawn heavy criticism from almost all quarters; many have felt slighted by what they see as a haphazard and ambiguous distribution plan. 2008 grants were supposed to ensure that enough money goes to areas at highest risk of undead outbreaks via a point system /risk assessment scale. However, Philadelphia, already criticized as 'the city least prepared' to handle a level 'A' outbreak has had its funding cut from $41 million to $15 million.


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If you suspect anyone of showing sympoms of the 'Necro- Mortosis' Virus, the Government has released the following anonymous tip line.
1 800 155 3219


The USA is NOT infected
Despite many internet rumors, the Northern United States is not infected. The few areas of infestation are in maintained quarantine. It is important to remember, borders have not been breached. Communities have not been infected.

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