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This site is for entertainment purposes only. Manyl stories and events are fictional. Any similarities with persons either living or deceased in purely coincidental. There is occasional satirizing of prominent public figures. Contents of this site are copyrighted. All rights reserved.



If you suspect anyone of showing sympoms of the 'Necro- Mortosis' Virus, the Government has released the following anonymous tip line.
1 800 155 3219


The USA is NOT infected
Despite many internet rumors, the Northern United States is not infected. The few areas of infestation are in maintained quarantine. It is important to remember, borders have not been breached. Communities have not been infected.

Attacks down in USA - cold weather to blame? Posted: Feb. 11th.. 14
Palm Beach face attack Posted: Feb. 4th.. 14
Are the dead attracted to second hand smoke? Posted: Aug. 23rd.. 13
Miami zombie attack: victim update Posted: June 28th.. 13
Increase in zombie attacks in USA Posted: Mar. 27th. 13
Rise in US militia - is the pandemic an excuse? Posted: Feb. 4th. 13
Naked man threatens to eat golfers Posted: July 4th. 12
Zombie attack reference map Posted: July 4th. 12
Miami attack: Not bath salts Posted: June 27th. 12
Texas man eats dog Posted: June 25th. 12
Center of Disease Control air leak Posted: June 21st. 12
Patient bites ambulance driver. Posted: June 19th. 12
Victim named. Posted: May 30th. 12
Victims photo revealed. Posted: May 30th. 12
Miami: Attacker ID'd Posted: May 29th. 12
Miami face attack: new details emerge Posted: May 28th. 12
Miami police kill naked attacker, eating mans face Posted: May 27th. 12
Whatever happened to 'The Undertakers'? Posted: Apr. 23rd. 12
Infected woman attacks Texas teens Posted: Jan. 8th. 12
Teen sells Mothers head on ebay Posted: Sept. 24th. 11
Obama delivers good news on national security Posted: June 23rd. 11
Quarantine facility protests. Posted: Dec. 18th. 10
Halloween ban 2010. Posted: Oct. 10th. 10
Real life zombie attack leads to tribute video. Posted: Aug. 24st. 10
Zombie hunting license challenged. Posted: Aug. 21st. 10
Passenger reanimates during flight. Posted: June. 15th. 10
Zombie Hunters to require license after July. Posted: Mar. 22nd. 10
Texas Nurse Dies From Hospital Attack Posted: Feb. 15th. 10
Texas Hospital Attack Posted: Feb. 14th. 10
One week with BOPE (Elite undead unit) Posted: Feb. 6th. 10
Brazilian 'Floaters' - A growing menace Posted: Jan. 23th. 10
Texas Crash Closes Interstate Posted: Jan. 16th. 10
Newark Terminal lockdown Posted: Jan. 3rd. 10
Canada M-Bomb link Posted: Dec. 12th. 09
Eyewitness report from office massacre Posted: Nov. 29th. 09
Canadian office massacre Posted: Nov. 28th. 09
New outbreak in Canada Posted: Nov. 27th. 09
Cremation Bill Stalls Posted: Nov. 15th. 09
Halloween ban lifted Posted: Oct. 17th. 09
Las Vegas Taped Attack?
Posted: Aug. 22nd. 09
Cornfield discovery
Posted: May 7th. 09
Headless Bodies in Mexico'
Posted: May 4th, 09
Woody Harrelson attacks 'Zombie'
Posted: Apr 12th, 09
Memphis Incident Posted: Apr 12th, 09
Juarez strain Posted: Mar 5th, 09
Gag order lifted
Posted: Mar 5th, 09
Blagojevich calls for food testing Posted: Dec14th, 08
New York subway given all clear Posted: July 12th, 08
Farm busted using undead labor Posted: May 24th, 08
Funding cut in major US cities Posted: Mar 29th 2008
Mystery surrounds massacre Posted: Mar 3, 2008
Alaskan ice station massacre- Posted: Mar 2, 2008
'Right to rise' Protest disrupts GOP debate - Posted: Jan. 29th, 2008
Double murder tragedy on Halloween - Posted: Nov. 3rd, 2007
Bizarre Halloween attack leaves one man in hospital - Posted: Nov. 3rd, 2007
Possible 'Floater' found in N.C. - Posted: Sept. 13th, 2007
ZWN offices attacked - Posted: Aug 11, 2007
The Undead Zone - Posted: July 23, 2007
Think Tank deems US vulnerable - Posted July 15, 2007
'Body Farm' banned in Brazil - Posted June 27, 2007
Vigilantes sought in Arizona massacre - Posted: June 17, 2007
Fireworks on Capitol Hill - Posted: June 12, 2007
Chierbeck gets probation - Posted: June 7, 2007
"Cover-up" in Congress - allegations arise - Posted: May, 28, 2007
Controversial bill requires mortosis testing - Posted: May, 26, 2007
Murder/suicide linked to food scare - Posted: May, 22, 2007
Floating corpse off Miami beach - Posted: May, 17, 2007
Tainted baby food stocks tumble - Posted: May, 15, 2007
'Mortosis' tainted baby food - Posted: May, 14, 2007
Second spate of mortuary attacks - Posted: May, 9, 2007
Scare in Washington, D.C. - Posted: April, 2007
Canadian cover-up - Posted: March, 2007
Mortuary attacks in South - Posted: January, 2007


Cuban Crisis July 13, 2007
Cuba in Chaos July 15, 2007
US Fleet protects Florida July 20, 2007
Blockade broken July 28, 2007
Cuban Exodus July 29, 2007
Tempers flair at UN July 31, 2007
Canadian PM in political flap
July 31, 2007
'Zombie barges' sunk Aug 13, 2007
Submarine escape/mass arrests Aug 16, 2007
Anxiety in Cuba Aug 19, 2007

Trawlers find undead catch Aug, 26th, 2007
Beaches closed Sept, 7th, 2007
Undead boat reaches Miami Sept, 11th, 2007
Undead female discovered Sept, 15th, 2007
Miami undead female identified Sept, 18th, 2007
5 more Miami dead discovered Sept, 21st, 2007
National Guard enter Miami Sept, 23rd, 2007
Total lockdown for Miami Sept, 26th, 2007
Outbreak spreads to State Park Sept, 29th, 2007
Return to Miami Oct 2nd, 2007
Miami struggles to contain outbreak Oct, 6th, 2007
Three More East Coast States to Ban Halloween Oct, 13th, 2007
Drug Gangs Shoot Through Roadblock! Oct, 17th, 2007
Armed Gang Found In 'Fortress Style' City Mall
Oct, 22nd, 2007
Mayor attacked on live TV
Nov. 12, 2007
Shooting and violence erupt Nov 17, 2007
Hospital Massacre
Nov. 19, 2007
All quiet in Miami
Dec. 2nd, 2007
Miami quarantine lifted Dec. 18th, 2007
Missing Arizona hunters - bodies found
Body tests positive for necro-mortosis
Last photo's provide clues to missing hunters
Arizona mine entered - three re-killed
'Cave zombie' identified
Arizona quarantine lifted
Arizona 'Cave zombie' mystery to be solved?
'Cave zombie' mother in plea deal
'Cave Zombie' Mystery solved
Zombie farm discovered
Zombie farm owner flees to Columbia
Two undead escape
Undead captured -Re killed
Zombie rage in Philadelphia
The dead walk in Philadelphia
Philadelphia hoax
Philadelphia - Least prepared city

Dock Workers Demand Protection From Undead
New Jersey Dock Worker Infected
City Wide Search For 'N.J.' Zombie
New Jersey Under Lock down
Panic Buying In Newark
'New Jersey Zombie 'Captured
City Awaits DNA Results
DNA All Clear

Zombie Attacks Down In USA.
Cold Weather To Blame?

Tuesday, Feb. 11, 2014 |
ZWN (AP)

Zombie attacks on mainland USA have dropped significantly over the last several weeks. Some experts believe it may be in direct relationship with the bitter cold snap that has enveloped most of the USA this winter.



Despite the USA having one of the lowest records for zombie (necro-mortosis) outbreaks in the world, It still typically experiences a steady stream of small isolated attacks throughout the year. However, last weeks Palm Beach incident is the only documented outbreak to have been reported within the last 2 months.

"There have been no outbreaks of necro-mortosis" says Public Health and Safety Commissioner Paul Martinez. "No actual attacks. At least that we know of at this point. We theorize that any roaming carriers who have reanimated cannot stay ambulatory in this weather. Its just too cold. They will freeze."

ZWN science expert Dr. Nancy Chan commented that "Even an animated corpse needs its blood to flow freely. If it freezes then the limbs and muscles will not respond. They will in effect seize up. Add to that, discharge from any open wound and once that wound touches anything frozen such as metal, it will stick to it. Sort of like licking a metal pole with your tongue."

In fact, authorities in Atlanta have issued a 'Category level B'* necro-mortosis warning. This follows the grim discovery of a partial leg and thigh attached to a sign post in Sandy Springs, Atlanta on Monday. Police believe an infected undead carrier may have become frozen to the pole and detached itself again, leaving its partial remains behind.

A 5 mile search has failed to reveal any trace of the mortosis carriers remains. The warning remains in effect

 

* Category Level 'B'

These outbreaks are the second highest priority because:
They are moderately easy to spread
They result in a moderate rate of death and/or low death rates
They require specific enhancements of Center for Disease Control's laboratory capacity and enhanced disease monitoring





For more information on necro-mortosis and the reanimation of it's victims: visit the World Health Authority web site


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